Having Been Is No Way To Be

Oh I was naive

My shoes were untied

In heaven everything is just fine

But the phones are dead

And so is the light

And so are you

And honey so am I

But the earth still turns

For the unconcerned

Days pass below like train windows

I was a sapling tree

The birds looked like me

Oh I begged my nerves to kick me something new

From time to time

I would watch you sleep

Oh, I wonder how much freedom we can dream

And I'm sorry when you wake up to me

I just got tired

Shining steady like a spider web's an empty stage

Now the people say

What drugs did you take?

And why don't you start taking them again?

But they're not my friends

And if I was dead

What difference would it ever make to them?

If I got high

From time to time

Oh I wonder how much freedom you would need

And I'd be sorry when you wake to me

I'm reaching out to you

I'm writing all the time

I don't see deep but I see far and wide

I see dead trees

But the roots have leaves

Just because I can't describe it doesn't mean I shouldn't try

To untwist the knife

To unmake my mind

Having been is no way to be alive

And I'm alive

When I watch you sleep

I wonder how much freedom we need

And I'm here

When you wake up to me

And I'm still here

When you wake up to me