Bringin’ Back Christmas

Look, real trees are trending downward

Your sales continue slipping

They destroyed your bottom lines

With plastic pines and same-day shipping

Well, you've got the better product

But if you wanna win

You gotta study human nature

All those interested, lean in

People are, one, lazy

We only care about ourselves

Your competition knows this

So their crap flies off the shelves

But we're also, two, desperate

To feel good, smart, right

And that's what you have to harness

If you wanna win this fight

See, what you're really selling

Is the way things oughta be

So your pitch becomes compelling

Selling more than just a tree

It's a symbol of your values

It's your ethics and your cause

You can either be fake like the trees they make

Or take a stand for Santa Claus

We're bringin' back Christmas

We're bringin' back cheer

We're bringin' back cozy nights, those twinkly lights, the glow of yesteryear

Now, it's some slight manipulation

But it's what we gotta do

See, we need some confrontation

Or your message won't get through

We're bringin' back decency

We're bringin' back Christmas

And that means the piney scent of a real authentic tree

Oh, it would be sure, simple

To boost your market share

We'd rebrand you as nostalgic

Tell your customers you care

But the world is what? (What?)

Tribal! (Oh!)

So if you want your sales to soar

It's not enough for folks to love you

They gotta hate your rivals more

As an expert, my advice is

Feed that hate, 'cause hate is strong

Folks will gladly pay your prices

To prove those Christmas killers wrong!

We're bringin' back Christmas

And all the joy that we lost (we're bringin' it back)

Give me some peace on Earth