Shoulda Done Better

I stayed in the shallow end

Called it keepin' things light

Never let it get serious

Never stayed past the night

If it wasn't about me

I didn't see it too clear

I figured my time mattered more

Than the hearts that were here

I could've done better by some of you

That truth don't need defending

I was young, I was selfish, I was sure

And I didn't know what I was ending

I was ten years old, thought I knew enough

Didn't try, didn't want to learn

Thought love was somethin' you get

Not somethin' you earn

That way of thinkin' stuck around

I wore it like a coat

Kept everythin' easy

So I'd never feel the weight of it all

I could've done better by some of you

That truth don't need defending

I was young, I was selfish, I was sure

And I didn't know what I was ending

I let you go without a fight

Called it doin' you right

Truth is I didn't have the nerve

To stay another night

You were askin' for my time

I held it tight as gold

I should've tried to keep you near

Instead I let you go

There was more than one of you

Different towns, same mistake

Every time it asked for more

I found another road to take

You deserved a steadier hand

Than the one I gave back then

I was busy bein' sure of myself

Instead of bein' someone you could depend

Turns out love ain't fast or loud

It's showin' up when it ain't easy

Turns out time's the one thing

You don't get to call just yours

I learned it late, but I learned it hard

Some lessons leave a mark

And I finally see the cost

Of treatin' hearts like they were optional

I could've done better by some of you

I won't say I didn't know

I just wasn't willin' to give the time