Lyrics
Now I was born in North Carolina, a state where men are men
Most folks call me senator, but you can call me friend
I've served this state for many years, ask anyone what I've done
And I supported Right to Life in 1991
I got up the next morning to have some time to think
My stomach felt real queasy like I'd had too much to drink
My chest felt kind of funny, it was tender to the touch
There sure was something different, but I never guessed how much
Well, the mornings got just awful and I'd get to work real late
The senators would laugh and say, "Hey, ain't you put on weight?"
My feet got sore and swollen, my pants all fit too tight
And I swear that something kicked me when I lay down at night
So I went to see the doctor, I was feeling old and tired
He poked me up and down and then he looked me long and hard
He said, "Well, we've got a problem, a-just speaking among us men
I'm gonna make you an appointment with an OBGYN"
Well, I didn't get excited, no, I didn't scream or shout
I said, "Doc, you make arrangements
And we'll straighten this thing out
I'm just too old and ugly to be some child's pa or ma"
He said, "I'd sure like to help you, but you know the law's the law"
Well, I begged him and I pleaded and I fell down on my knees
I said, "Doc, this here's my body, can't I treat it like I please?"
He said, "I'd sure like to help you
'Cause I know that's why you're here
But you know that vote comes 'round again, this time again next year"