How Come My Dog Don't Bark (When You Come Around)

(Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof)

(Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof)

(Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof)

Now you say you never met my wife you ain't never seen her before

Say you ain't been hangin' 'round my crib? Well, here's somethin' I wanna know

I wanna know what in the world is goin' down

How come my dog don't bark when you come around?

I got the baddest dog he'll bite anybody

He bit my little brother, took a chunk out of my ol' sweet lil' mother

He bit the mailman he sees him every day

He takes one look at you he wanna jump up and play

Now I ain't got a clue as to what you puttin' down, but

How come my dog don't bark when you come around?

My dog's dangerous, tried to set people straight

Even bought a bad dog sign and hung it on the gate

Here you come trippin' up about a quarter to nine

Full of that Night Train wine, tryin' to slide past the sign

My dog been noddin' off, ain't payin' you no mind

That's my dog when I come home, he don't sleep that sound!

How come my dog don't bark when you come around?

I still don't like it, I don't dig it one damn bit

The way you and my dog's so tight somethin' don't fit

I slipped through the alley, I called my dog

Said, "Get off your rusty duster, move a little faster to your ol' master, you old cayute, you"

He took one look at me, and he growled, and he ran straight to you

Now somebody's been confusin' my po' hound

And I wanna know what's goin' down

How come my dog don't bark when you come around?

Maybe I better call up Jacoby & Myers

And you can take the Fifth Amendment, that is

You better stand up for your rights

'Cause you might not be standin' too long

I'm gonna stop all this confusion

I'm gon' fire that hound. Shoot that dog down

Then I'm gonna get busy mutilatin', strangulatin', operatin'

And crematin' my ol' lady down at the cremation station

Then I'm gonna torch that too and come right on after you

You can give your heart and soul to charity

All the rest gonna belong to me

I'm goin' straight down to that barber supply shop

Get me a pearl handled, double edge, hollow ground, super blue blade

Adjustable, stainless steel, honed edge both blades on the same side

So when I cut you once, you gonna bleed twice goin' and comin'

And if you don't believe me, shake yo' head

It'll be singin', "I ain't got nobody"

'Cause one night I did a little FBI, double-O-seven type investigatin'

You and my ol' lady thought I was gone, but I wasn't gone

That's why I have to separate you from your ground

And the only sound you gonna hear when you six feet in the ground

(Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof)

How come my dog didn't bark when you came around?