Lyrics
Now I'm a feller with a heart of gold
With the ways of a gentleman I've been told
A kind of a feller that wouldn't even harm a flea
But if me and a certain character met
The guy that invented the cigarette
I'd murder that son of a gun in the first degree
'Course it ain't cause I don't smoke myself
And I don't reckon they hinder your health
I've smoked 'em all my life and I ain't dead yet
But nicotine slaves are all the same
At a patent party or a poker game
Everything's gotta stop while they smoke some cigarettes
Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hates to make him wait
You've gotta have another cigarette
In a game of chance the other night
Old Dame Fortune was doin' me right
The kings and queens just kept on comin' around
I got a full and I bet it high
But my bluff didn't work on a certain guy
He just kept on raisin' and layin' the money down
He'd raise me, I'd raise him
I sweated blood, you gotta sink or swim
He finally called, didn't raise the bet
I said "Aces is full pal, how about you?"
He said "I'll tell you in just a minute or two
But right now I just gotta have myself a cigarette"
Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
Puff, puff, puff
And if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hates to make him wait
You gotta have another cigarette
The other night I had me a date with
The cutest little gal in these fifty states
One of them high bred uptown fancy little dames
She said she loved me and it seemed to me
That everything's 'bout like it ought to be
So hand in hand we strolled down Lover's Lane
She was oh so far from a chunk of ice
Our smoochin' party was goin' real nice
So help me Hannah, I'd think I'd have been there yet