The She Coon Of Women's Lib

Not too long ago

I was in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Doing one of them talkshows

Now, I had an encounter

With a She Coon, of all of the women libbers in the world

Now, I'm not knocking women liberators

I've been one all my life

And I have all my life been willing for a lady to make wages like a man, if she did a man's job

And I've always thought this

But, I'm minding my own business, I'm sitting in the greenroom

Waiting to be called to come out on the big talk show before millions of people and the She Coon comes walking in the room

And I know she's a female as to how her dungarees are fittin' her when she comes walking in the room

I got up and said "Lady talk my chair"

She said "You sit down!"

I said "Ma'am, you sit down"

I said "Lady, My ancestors would come up outta the grave and git me"

I have been taught all my life to stand up and give a lady a chair

She said "You sit down!"

I said "I ain't gon' do it"

So she sat down in the middle of the floor to embarrass me

Left me standing by the vacant chair

I said "Lady, I wouldn't embarras you for nothin' in the world"

I am a man, what don't believe in embarrassing lady-folks

And I wanna do what's right

Tell me, what all women are you liberating?

She said "Every female in America, some phase of her life, I intend to help liberate"

I said "Well, let me tell you about me and Mama"

Wooooah! I said "Me and mama has been married twenty six years"

She was my childhoon sweetheart

I ain't never had another date

And mama sleeps every morning

'til she gets ready to get up

Now she might have to get up at eight o'clock, and unlock the door to let the lady in that I got hired to wait on Mama

Ahhh! Yeah!

And when Mama does get up she can fix her own breakfast, or have it brought to her

It'll be Mama's option

Which ever way she wants it and when Mama does get up, and watches them soap operas

She can watch it in three different rooms in the house

Layin' down, leanin' or propped up

Which ever way she wants to do it

And when Mama gets ready to go to the supermarket or get her hat fixed

She goes in a brand-new gold Lincoln Continental, I said Miss Women Libber

Mama don't want you messin' with the deal she's got

(Whoo!)