Lyrics
Wash my hands
I don't touch my face
Stay at home
Shelter in place
Keep my social distance
Don't go to work
I wear a mask and gloves and I stay away from church
I avoid old folks
And should I sneeze
I do it in my elbow
Or up my sleeve
Stay six feet apart
That is my rule
And I pray for the day the kids go back to school
I'm washing my hands
Like a raccoon with OCD
I've watched Hulu, Roku, Netflix, PBS and BBC
I've taken down all my mirrors
'Cause I'm sick of what I see
Two more weeks of quarantine will be the death of me
(The death of me)
I risk a trip
To the grocery store
Just to buy TP
And a few things more
But when I get there
All I can find
Is sixteen hundred buns and some Mad Dog wine
I'm washing my hands
Like a raccoon with OCD
I've watched Hulu, Roku, Netflix, PBS and BBC
I've taken down all my mirrors
'Cause I'm sick of what I see
Yeah, two more weeks of this quarantine's gonna be the death of me
(The death of me)
You know they say this is war
But we don't have to storm Omaha Beach or Pork Chop Hill
We just lay here on the sofa and watch TV
I'd rather volunteer for a high risk commando raid
To parachute into Wuhan and find that fella that ordered that bat soup
Yeah, I know I'm talking out of my head
Saying crazy stuff over and over
Like, "Yes dear, yes dear"
The other morning at breakfast I meant to say
"Honey, would you please pass the pepper?"
But what slipped out was
"You crazy woman, you've ruined my life"
Of course I immediately apologized
Just as soon as I woke up