I Don't Drive

I don't drive at all, that's the secret to life

I don't drive a car, no, I just ride a bike

I don't pay insurance and don't pay for gas

I don't buy big tires that aren't gonna last

When I'm in the saddle, I'm flying first class

'Cause I don't drive

Now, it can be tough not driving at all

It's hard to play golf or to get to the mall

Well, even in winter, I'm riding in shorts

With bicycle socks for extra support

'Cause when you're in Portland, that's par for the course

Yeah, I don't drive

I get a lot more done 'cause I don't drive

I have a lot more fun since I don't drive

I hit the bodega when I'm on the street

Don't drive to the market for tofu and beets

No ozone depletion from an oversized bomb

I can't haul a table or a coconut palm

So I make my order with Costco.com

Since I don't drive

I get a lot more done 'cause I don't drive

I have a lot more fun since I don't drive

And when I move on, hope my tombstone will say

"Oh, I did my best not to drive every day

A nice, eco-friendly peddlin' guy"

And you'll see my name there, when you're walkin' by

And then the inscription might catch your eye

I don't drive

I don't drive (he don't drive)

I don't drive

No, no, no, I don't drive (he don't drive)

Not a little bit of drive

No, no, no, I don't drive (he don't drive)

I don't drive

I don't drive (he don't drive)

Don't drive, no car, no

I don't drive (he don't drive)

Not a little bit of drive

No, no, no, I don't...