Gas

You know, a lot of folks have suggested

I do a song about gas, so I cut one

At a recent rare press conference

In the White House Rose Garden

A reporter was heard to ask, "Mr. President

What's your biggest problem?"

With a furrowed brow, he turned to the camera

And solemnly started to speak

He said, "I've tried to contain the situation

But we seem to have a leak"

Then his eyes glazed over and through the haze

He said, "I don't wanna be crass

And I see you've gotten wind of the problem

Even though you're wearing masks

But it had to slip out sooner or later

And the aftermath will surely linger

So all I can say is take a deep breath

Strike a match, and pull my finger"

My fellow Americans, the problem is (gas)

We need to clear the air (gas)

As you know, I've decreased production (gas)

It's a problem everywhere (gas)

It's a weapon of mass destruction (gas)

It's a stinky situation (gas)

Will leave a stain on my whole administration (gas)

How did I ever lose control? (Gas)

Whoa-oh, here we go, fire in the hole

Well, something sure smells about this situation

And Congress won't allow any drilling

I even raised a stink at the United Nations

I said, "Somewhere, there's got to be a villain"

'Cause I smell a rat behind it all

But we'll smoke him out sure as shootin'

It's anybody's guess, but I must confess

All the evidence is pointing to Putin

(Gas) I don't wanna be a demagogue (gas)

But I think you will agree (gas)

Somebody's got to cut through the fog (gas)

It's a national emergency (gas)

It's a stinky situation (gas)

Will leave a stain on my whole administration (gas)

How did I ever lose control? (Gas)

Uh-oh, here we go, fire in the hole (gas)

Hold on, where you going? (Gas)

Well, hold on, I'm not through yet (gas)

I was, uh, well- (gas)

All the roses are starting to turn brown (gas)

Well, all right, just go on out there (gas)

Leave me alone (gas)

First Lady, what's for dinner tonight? (Beans)

Oh no, not beans again (gas)