Lyrics
What's up?
Thank you for coming out here, man
New Orleans, alright
This is awesome, man
Yeah, man
Careful with that, man
People in New Orleans are always drunk
All the time
It's like 11:00 in the morning and people are just like, "Ehhhh"
"Whatever!"
"Drink it, let's bring it outside, we can drink outside," right
People get drunk, man
Dudes get drunk
Nobody gets more drunk than a girl, man
Yeah, girls get way drunker than dudes
Yeah, no, it's true
Girls get drunk, "Hey, you know what? Uh, excuse me, uh"
I always knew when my ex would get way
Too drunk 'cause she would always say this
"Guess what? You do the math"
Like, "Yo, I did the math, eight shots equals too many"
"Yeah, exactly, exactly"
"So, uh, what's your point?"
"What's your point? Exactly, yeah, exactly"
One drunk girl I could handle
I can't handle more than one
Girls get drunk, when they're together, it's way worse
They're like Voltron, their powers are much stronger when combined
"Yeah, I'll form the head, woo"
Girls get drunk, man, they act like it's an accomplishment
They'll have one too many drinks, just be like
"We made it! Woo! We did it! We made it, ooh-ooh! Did it!"
What did you make?
You made a fool of yourself is what you made
Girls get drunk, man, and they don't
Even know what they're talking about
They think they do
"Hey, guess what? You don't even kno
You know what it is it?
Excuse me, where— where you goin'?
You don't know what it is it?
Yeah? You don't know what it is it, know what I'm sayin'?
And then douncin' or woofle?
Is that what it is? Uh-uh
Excuse me, you didn't even— you sayin' it?
What it is in that we're sayin'?
And then we're douncin' and then all 'em booted in the back of 'bama?
Is that what it is?
Yeah? Yes, exactly, it doesn't even matter
It doesn't even matter"
Nothing matters to a drunk girl at all
Nothing
You be like, "Yo, there's a crocodile right next to you"
"Uh, excuse me, I have a question for you
Uh, is it your crocodile?
No, exactly, they'll just add to it
You're afraid that it's gonna take your job?
Is that what it is?
Are you scared a crocodile is gonna take your job?
Hello? It doesn't even have pants on
You can't
How many people have pa— no pants with a job?
You can't—"
You're like, "Do you even need me for this conversation?"
"No, I don't need it, I don't need it
I'm an independent woman, I don't need you
I don't need your help
I'm just sittin' here
The shoes on my feet, I bought 'em, I don't care
You don't know me
You're saying that you know me, all of our friends around?
If you, ayy
You saying that you know me with all the friends around?
No
You don't know
Ayy"
Hey, drunk girls are the only people on the planet
That can almost throw up and not care about it at all
Right?
If you're a dude and you almost throw up
You know game over immediately, right?
You be like, "Ayy, bro, get my things
Nobody move! Stay where you—"
Girls don't do that
Girls don't care at all
Girls just be like, "Hey, where you going?
Hahahaha
This is my song
I love this song
I love Rihanna, I love Rihanna
I'm Rihanna, I'm her"
You're like, "Yo, you almost threw up"
"It doesn't even matter"
Girls get that drunk, dudes don't
Dudes don't get that drunk, man
Dudes— girls get drunk, they'll dance around
Dudes get drunk, they just sit down
Right? That's a dude move
A dude will have one too many drinks, just be like
"Hey, you know what I mean? Um, alright, forget it
You know what I mean? I hate this party
Screw this party, I hate this party"
They're not even at a party, just, "Everybody out, now
I want everybody out, out"
They're alone in their bed, "Get out
Everybody out, let's go get fast food now"
That— that's the move, man
That's when all my friends, they get drunk and then
At the end of the night, they wanna get fast food
That's the move, man
But I'm never more annoyed than when I'm at the drive-
Thru and there's drunk people in the backseat, right?
It's so annoying, man
'Cause they always— they always— they always order better than you
You know what I mean?
First of all, it's easy, it- I got it!
Second of all, I'm the sober one, so you relax, okay?
There's always somebody in the back just like
"Hey, give me a seven! I want a seven! I want it. Tell
Him, tell the guy, I want a seven. Tell the guy. Hey
You, you, tell him to tell the guy I want a seven"
"Shut up! Shut up!"
"Why? Why would I be quiet? Why? You know what, maybe if
I didn't want a seven, then I'd be like- but I do. I do"
"I want a seven!"
"Shh, be quiet!"
"Why? I already ordered the seven! If you order the seven
Then we're gonna get two sevens, I don't want two sevens!
Uh, I don't want two sevens, I want one seven, okay? Maybe
If I wanted two sevens, I would get a fourteen, okay? But I
Don't. I don't want that, you do the math, I don't want that!"
"I want a seven!"
"Be quiet! You're not even at the drive-thru
Yet! You're at a red light on Canal Street!"
She's screaming at a Kinko's with the window rolled up
"I want a seven!"
"Be quiet!"
And why is there always some jerk sitting next to her that's just like
"Seriously, bro, just get her a seven
I hate this party, everybody out"
Girls get drunk like that, man, you ever see a girl get drunk
So drunk it looks like she goes back in time for three seconds?
That's a move girls have, they'll just be like
"Hey! Where am I? Ugh, I'm still here? It doesn't even matter"