How to Be an Indie Rapper

[Intro]

Good morning children

Children, please sit down

You all know me, Superintendent GTB

We have something, extra special this morning

Something ay sit down, Gracie, Xavier

there's not going to be any of that, sit down

We have two very special professors with us today

MC Lars, and Weerd Science {YAYYYYYY!}

They're here to teach all of us how to be, indie rappers

[Weerd Science]

[clears throat] AHEM!

Here's a little rap about the steps that it takes

to be an indie rapper, or who knows, one day one of the greats

I'm not saying that it's easy but these steps can help

if you follow 'em close you could carve out a career for yourself

STEP ONE! Get your hide ready to tour in a van

The limelight might sparkle but it's not real man

STEP TWO! You've got to flood the internet with material

Go serial, 'til it spreads like venereal

STEP THREE! You've got to keep a close eye on your ticket stubs

The only bottles you'll be poppin is the water from the club

STEP FOUR! You can forget about the champagne and filets

cause it's more like Tostitos and old PB&J

STEP FIVE! This is probably one of the most important

Never sign to a major and let your heart get extorted

STEP SIX! You've got to book all the shows that you can

And hopefully you get a chance to win the headliner's stance

STEP SEVEN! Never mind all the pointin and the laughin

Your girl won't be psyched you spent all your time rappin

STEP EIGHT! Remember hip-hop's about being true

Gotta go, peace, Weerd Science, more work to do

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

How to be an indie rapper - class is in session

Take notes, and learn your lesson

It's Weerd Science - and MC Lars

If you follow our steps, you can go far

[MC Lars]

A is for the albatross they call a day job

B is for the beats - make sure they sound way hot

C is for the cash you collect on the road

D is for the drives that you make to get to shows