Home Depot

I tell you my favorite store is the Home Depot

I like that store right there

That's a good store

That's a big store in there

Good Lord

I'm glad they sell hot dogs on the way in

You may need something to survive on if you get lost in there

But the worst thing about them hot dogs at the Home Depot

Is they go right through you

Good Lord

I had a couple of bites of the wiener dog in there

I had a brown snake playing peek-a-boo

With my butt crack in there at Home Depot

It ain't funny

I'm walking like this through the Home Depot in there

Looked like the march of the penguins in there

All I could think of was that commercial

"What can brown do for you?"

You know what I mean?

That's all I thought

What can brown do for me?

Make me look like a jackass at the Home Depot

What it do for me

Then I had to stand there with my butt

Cheeks squished together like this

Hoping nothing would shoot out of there

Act like I'm looking at something, you know

You ever do that?

You be playing a game or something

It hits you and you're like, "Oh Lord"

You know, the people are like, "Larry, get over here"

"Hold on, I'm looking at this weird bug over here"

"I never seen a bug like this my whole life"

"Oh, that's a big bug"

But do me a favor if you ever go to Home Depot

Tell them idiots in the plumbing department

To mark it better that them toilets

Is for display purposes only in there

Good Lord, I feel like an idiot going

To the toilets on them stools in there

But the good news is somebody's gonna get a plunger half price

Alright, that's the good news

So there's a silver lining in everything in this world

Hey, did you ever read that story about the feller

That glued his hind end to the toilet seat?

You read that?

Some feller goes in the Home Depot and there were some kids in there