Ups & Downs

I go so hard, why I'm so hard, this on myself, kid

I don't talk a lot, still got a lot of shit I never said

My ups and downs, this shit ain't even, still stay level-head

I know they bleed just like I bleed, so I ain't never scared

Get paid for tragedy, put my plaque all on my deathbed, yeah

I love my block, and I been gone, but I ain't never left, yeah

Been holdin' grudges on my daddy 'cause he ain't never said sorry

Put this metal on his melon, nigga ever say somethin'

Say somethin', got a thing for red rum

In my head so messed up, when I think

Get in the car and pull out, that bitch lift up

Heart been broke so many times, like how the hell I still love? Yeah

They could never take somethin' God gave me, got a heart

Believe in me, I had it hard, don't go against me

I be tryna act happy around my son, he feed off energy

I be seein' the hurt inside my mama, shit be killin' me

I been busy, Lord, just let my sisters know I got 'em

Niggas with me, these more like my brothers, not my partners, yeah

I wish Dre could see me now, it hurt me when they shot him dead

Watchin' out for snakes inside my grass, these niggas copperheads

Ridin' in my cars, I know I'm legal

But I ain't tryna go to jail, so I still watch for 12

Got Ash and Pluck, this shit forever, it got me outta jail

Collect calls to my mama, sayin' I'll never tell

Mama, you raised me well

Mama raised me right, I did wrong on my own

Got a house in every county

But I can't call this place home, it ain't my block

2200, it's on my eyes, and this shit locked

Ghost all on my gun, no serial number, but this a Glock, nigga

Rel, I blame myself that I couldn't save you

I'm still tryna figure out where they had chased you

And that shit killed you, and that shit killed me

I'm good, my kids love me, I don't care about who fear me

They think where we come from, we ain't got hearts, we still cry

If niggas tried this shit two years ago, we still slidin'

This shit off my head, this real pain, I don't steal lines

Still say to my mama, sorry that I chose violence

This shit won't stop, mama

Catch him outside and gotta spin they block, mama

But my neck water like the bottom of the dock, mama

Know what go around come around, just like a clock, mama

That mean if I spin, I go again until they shot, mama

I still make shit happen

And I pray that God judge me off my heart, not my actions

I go to sleep, and I see demons

Please don't wake me up, I'm fightin' 'em off, I'm still dreamin'

Whoa

And I don't care to be the hardest

I'm tusk tough just like a walrus

And this on gang, we ain't the gang that you want war with

Nothin' don't last forever, but while I'm here, I'ma enjoy it

I'm lyin'

I worked so hard for all this money to give 'em every dime

Can't say you call me and I ain't pick up, nigga, every time

Say one more strike and then I'm out, shit, I'm like Barry Bonds

Shit, I got rich, prepared for war, I bought like every gun

Tryna save my niggas, they so deep, shit, they won't leave the slums

I say I love you, then I mean it, I ain't tryna lead you on

Before I ever do you wrong, baby, I'll leave you 'lone