Warning To Young Couples (Huntsmen's Hounds)

I will seize this opportunity to execrate

The vile English practice of riding the hound

So the sodden huntsmen can watch a beautiful

Delicate fox torn to pieces by their stinking dogs

Heartened by this loutish spectacle, they repair to

The manor house to get drunker than they already are

And no better than their filthy fawning shit-

Eating carrion-rolling baby-killing beasts

Warning to all couples young or old who are expecting a blessed event

Get rid of that family dog

What? Our Fluffy harm a child? Why that's ridiculous!

Long may your child live to think so, little mother

I'm citing an actual case here

They are dawdling the child in drooling

Baby talk when Fluffy in a jealous rage

Rushes on the infant, bites through his skull and kills it

Fluffy's bare motivations hanging out for anyone to see

Dogs are the only animal other than

Man with a sense of right and wrong

So Fluffy knows what to expect when he is

Dragged out from under the bed where he cowers

He knows the extent of his trespass

Another animal, pet cougar, someone's pet

Cougar or ferret wouldn't make the connection

And dogs are the only self-righteous animal

And that's what makes a dog's snarl so ugly