The American Metaphysical Circus

At precisely eight-o-five

Doctor Frederick von Meier

Will attempt his famous dive

Through a solid sheet of luminescent fire

In the center of the ring

They are torturing a bear

And although he cannot sing

We can make him whistle Londonderry Air

And the price is right

The cost of one admission is your mind

We shall shortly institute

A syntopicon of fear

While it's painful, it will suit

Many customers whose appetites are queer

Or for those who wish to pay

There are children you can bleed

In a most peculiar way

We can give you all the instruments you'll need

And the price is right

The cost of one admission is your mind

If you're harder yet to please

We have most delightful dreams

Our recorders will preserve

The intensity and passion of your screams

For we only aim to please

It's our customers who gain

As their appetites increase

They must come to us for pleasure and for pain

And the price is right

The cost of one admission is your mind