Lyrics
Dear Mr. Claus
It's me, Kristin
Uh, too formal
Dear Santa
It's Kristi Dawn
Ugh, no, too familiar
Hey, Santa
It's KC
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but this
Is the first time I've written, right?
I mean, since, well, you remember that other time
Of course you do
I don't mean to sound ungrateful
I'm really very zen about the whole thing
But I did feel compelled to mention to
You one teensy eensy weensy little thingy
Santa, I know that you're busy
You know what you're doing
You think it all through, very true
So tell me, Santa
Just what were you thinking
When landing on my roof?
What did you do?
I got a bone to pick with you
On Christmas morn, what did I see? (Gasp)
I found a toothbrush and a pair of mismatched socks under my tree
Sweater's too big, jammies too small
I got a dollar, but my sister got a doll
Santa, I got a bone to pick with you
Oh, I know
Let's chat, perhaps you need guidance
How 'bout we get coffee?
Discuss what I need, yes, indeed
I'll give instructions
I'll do it all nicely
But listen precisely
'Til we've agreed
I got a bone to pick with you
On Christmas morn, what did I see?
Um, a soggy fruitcake and a can of Lysol spray under my tree
Ugly picture frame, travel Scrabble game
I got a thong, but then my mother got the same
Santa, I got a bone to pick with you
I know you're flying many miles through wind and cold
Wah
You may be young at heart, but this is getting old
I got a bone to pick with you
If you could only heed my plea
I want a weekend on a brand new bear skin rug under my tree
New hairdo, uh, barbecue
I want a boyfriend, but my brother wants one too
Can't do Christmas alone
Bring stuff I wanna own
Or else I'll call Amazon
Santa, I got a bone to pick with you
Santa, I have not forgotten about 1978 when I got contacts
And Katie, she got Gloria Vanderbilt jeans
I didn't think it was funny, but I've forgiven you
Anyway, thank you in advance and
By the way, amen and shalom
I love you