I Wish I Had A Date

Well I wish I had a date

So I wear my suit and tie

Well I wish I had a date

With a pretty girl in mind

Well I'll take her out to dinner

And I'll treat her real good

I'll spend all my money on expensive food

Show her off to all the rest of my friends

I'm not good lookin' but at least she's a 10

I won't pay attention while my buddies scam

I'll be in love with a bitchin' bim

You know I am but at least she'll pretend

Well I wish I had a pretty face

And a body for brawls and fights

Well if I didn't have a chicken face

I could mack 'em down the chicks at night

Well we'll go out at night and she'll ignore me

Just a little but not a lot

And she'll go flirt with the tough guys

And they'll fool around with her twat

And for the moment that I have my back turned

She's making out in the parking lot

Well I wish I had a date

With a lot of trust and devotion

Well I wish I didn't have a chump

Who liked to spread her legs like the ocean

But if you know I had a date

And she wouldn't play on me

Cowwa-cowwa bunga

Yeah man, real peachy

Well I wish I had a date

Well I wish I had a date

Well I wish I had a date

Well I wish I had a date