Keep Yer Hands off My P.B.R.

You can spit on my pickup truck, call my Ma a lousy whore

Leave a flamin' bag of dogshit outside my trailer door

But don't go messin' with my Pabst Blue Ribbon

'Cause then you gone way too far

Keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR

You can bang my little sister like the drum in a big parade

You can hand me a big ole cup of piss and tell me it's lemonade

You can hide a riled-up rattlesnake in my grandma's cookie jar

But keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR

You can call Clint Eastwood a homo

You can say Chuck Norris is queer

You can claim John Wayne was a fan of cock

But keep your hands off my fucking beer

You can kick me in the gonads, you can drag me by the ole nutsack

You can tie my pecker in a granny knot and stick a corncob up my crack

But don't touch my tasty beverage 'cause then you took it way too far

Keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR

You can cop a cheap feel of my woman's ass

You can squeeze her sloppy tits

But if you go fingering my liquid lover, I'ma gonna lose my shit

'Cause when I wanna party, only one drink will do

I reach right for an icy can of the red, white and blue

So, if you see me down at the tavern, bellied up to the bar

Keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR

Just keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR