Dorms, Shower Baskets & The Walk Of Shame (Live Stand-Up)

See, that's what college is all about

Man, you gotta love college, man, it's the best thing in the world

You drink, you have fun, you do the Walk of Shame

Yeah, you gotta do the Walk of Shame

For those of you who don't know what the Walk of Shame is

That's when you hook up with someone the night before

And you have to walk all the way across campus

All disheveled the next morning, in the same clothes

Oh, no, no, I was-, I was over at the library

I was over, I stayed overnight, overnight studying

You go to your dorm in the morning

There's like a line of kids waitin' to get to the shower

It's like, bunch of zombies just walking

The guy with the flip-flops is beating everybody

He's got his little basket of stuff with him

You have to have your little shower basket of stuff

This little basket holds, like, your shampoo, your soap, your loofa

And girls have, like, this nice loofa

It's like this little mesh, pink loofa

Takes off your dead skin, it's really nice

No, for guys, we have the option

We have, like, this French bread lookin' loofa that

Rips out your ass hair

Yeah, thank you very much, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Walking back to my dorm, everyone's like

"Hey Jim, nice tan!" I'm like

"It's my third layer of skin!

I just over-loofa'd

Call the doctor

The wind hurts me, who's got the window open? Shut it"