Algebra Song!

"I'll sing a song about karmic wrath"

"How I lost my eye because I didn't know math"

I was born in NOLA, but then we had to flee

Police were searching everywhere for a fella named Eddie

I'm a child of a con-man and a saintly mama

We fled for Chicago with nothing but pajamas

If you don't see how algebra will save your eye

I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why

If you don't see how algebra will save your eye

Just keep listenin' and I'll tell you why

By age thirteen, I was weary of school

Thought doing your homework was the work of a fool

Dropped out in a flash and abracadabra

No more reading, no more algebra

There's a high-rolling world that he wanted to join

Full of passion, fashion, cash and coin

If you have pocket change, shake, shake, shake

I have coins up on the dresser!

My principal was a hundred and four

Folks said she was a witch, hair down to the floor

She cackled through a cigarette and said to me

"Not knowing algebra will change the way that you see!"

I got the change!

Too late!

You're starting to see how algebra will save your eye

It's clear as the sky, no need to clarify (No, no, no)

If you still don't see how algebra will save your eye

Just keep listenin' and I'll tell you why

Hey there, tutor

Yes, that's me

What's it like with only one eye to see?

With only one eye, I can never look twice

But when you buy a pair of shades, they're always half-price!

I was out in the world, my school days over

Working for a wealthy woman as her chauffeur

Her husband always traveled and she craved relations

She didn't care that I didn't know equations

'Til the day the husband came looking for his wife

With a jealous heart and an eye-poking knife

Madam thought fast, said "Pretend you were"

"Over in the house as a math tutor"

Husband comes in, said "I hear you know math"

I'm as naked as a baby in a bath