Lyrics
So this Greenwood, South Carolina girl
Told me I was gonna have to marry her
So I told her, I said
I-
Think I'd move to Lauren's County
Fore I'd ever give her my last name
Commit a Fulton-style robbery
Or watch her mean, old mamma go insane
She's been watching me since seventeen
Her redneck daddy lost another bet
Now I've been kicked out of another bar
So there's gonna be some merit to her threat
She's got her brother fading out on the sofa
Daddy sleeping out in the car
He is gon go missing tomorrow
Like the six-string on my guitar
Sister gon be smoking in shadows
Mamma's got her third damn DUI
She gon cry, I ain't gon give her a dime
You gotta blackmail me to pay my drinkin crimes
And she did
I think I'd live in purgatory
Fore I'd give that evil woman half
I've been digging in her Mother's yard
Since I was spraying bugs and killing gnats
She'd invite me in to take a water
Look around her room, or run the bath
But I avoided crazy woman
'Cause my Mamma used to say her Mother's trash
She's got her brother fading out on the sofa
Daddy's sleeping out in the car
He is gon go missing tomorrow
Like the six-string on my guitar
Sister gon be smoking in shadows
Mamma's got her third damn DUI
She gon cry, I ain't gon give her a dime
You gotta blackmail me to pay my drinkin crimes
And she did
So with all these crazy folks, and watching eyes
And politicians at the bar
I still thought I would drink outside of booms
And let that crazy woman drive my car
She's been loving me since seventeen
She's twenty-three, my Mother's mad as hell
She crashed my ford into a pole and said
"You marry me or hear those devil's bells"
She's got her brother fading out on the sofa
Daddy sleeping out in the car