RUIN

I check the lock, I check the phone, I check the time

Four in the morning, and I'm lying that I'm fucking fine

I told myself I drew a hard line in the sand

No more reaching out to try and touch your hand

But then you call, and all the walls just turn to dust

My self-control is shit, a machine covered in rust

I bite my tongue so I don't say your name aloud

But the silence in this room is getting goddamn loud

I'm good on paper

I'm perfect on the screen

Acting like the calmest guy that you have ever seen

But you walk in

And the oxygen gets thin

So I unravel

I come undone

I built a roof but I can't block out the sun

I try to sleep, bury the feelings deep inside

But one look from you, and there's nowhere left to hide

I'm unraveling, stitch by single stitch

Throwing my goddamn pride down into the muddy ditch

I said I was strong, I said I was free

But you're the only thing that fucking ruins me

I drive too fast past the places we used to go

Put on a smile, put on a decent evening show

Tell my friends"He's just a ghost within the past"

Pour another drink just to make the feeling last

But underneath, the signals are bleeding through

Every song on the radio sounds exactly like you

I sew it up, try to keep the edges tight

But the seams are gonna burst in the middle of the night

I'm good on paper

I'm perfect on the screen

Acting like the calmest guy that you have ever seen

But you walk in

And the oxygen gets thin

So I unravel

I come undone

I built a roof but I can't block out the sun

I try to sleep, bury the feelings deep inside

But one look from you, and there's nowhere left to hide

I'm unraveling, stitch by single stitch

Throwing my goddamn pride down into the muddy ditch

I said I was strong, I said I was free

But you're the only thing that fucking ruins me

It fucking burns, it twists, it turns

I never listen, and I never seem to learn

I want to purge you out of my veins

But I'm addicted to the weight of the chains

I crash, I burn, I yearn

Waiting for the tables to turn

(But they never turn)

So I unravel

I come undone

I built a roof but I can't block out the sun

I try to sleep, bury the feelings deep inside

But one look from you, and there's nowhere left to hide

I'm unraveling, stitch by single stitch

Throwing my goddamn pride down into the muddy ditch

I said I was strong, I said I was free

But you're the only thing that fucking ruins me

Just let it go

I see what I see

I'm not steady

I'm not free

The need recedes

No, it doesn't

It never leaves

(It never fucking leaves)