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Tragic Events - Part II
Lyrics
Are you crying Evelyn?
No, no, yes
I was just thinking about Sandy
And about Bimba and Kimba
I miss them Evelyn
I know, I miss them too
Especially this time of year, Evelyn
The year is 1991
Terminator II is the highest-grossing film at the Box Office
The first Super Nintendo Entertainment System has just been released
And after 70 years of Communist rule
The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics has collapsed
And on a chicken ranch just at side of Claxton Georgia
Twin sisters are waiting for their supper
The farm is old and operated by Alfred McClock
An eccentric man with a fascination with Civil War weaponery
McClock's chicken farms produces over 140, 000 chickens a year
And ships wings thighs and legs all over the continental United States
Despite the modest success of his business
McClock leads a solitary life
Never marrying and tending several of the chicken houses himself
A simple man with a not entirely bad heart
McClock never knew how to best take care of the young girls
Who came into his life shortly after their birth
So he raised them the only way he knew how
In a two foot by two foot wire mesh cage
On a diet of mash crumbles, pellets and egg booster
One clear September day during the twins sixth year at the farm
McClock does not come at meal time
Night falls and still he doesn't appear
The girls and the chickens cry out from hunger
Days pass and the chickens in neighbouring cage begin to die
The smell of rotting poultry permeates the air of the hot, humid barn
Finally, desperate to find food
And concerned over the whereabouts of their guardian
The twins break free from their cage
McClock's house is locked tight
But the girls find the garden hose which quenches their thirst
Still half delirious with hunger, they make their way out to the road
Little time passes before a dusty black Cadillac Coupe de Ville drives by and pulls over
A tall, mustached young man with a kindly face steps out of the vehicle
And presents them with the first candy they had ever tasted
Which they share in silent, odd delight
The girls do not feel at all uncomfortable when the man lifts them
Gently into the dark, spacious trunk
In the following days the girls are transferred into the trunks or several other cars
By many other kindly candybar offering men
Until they reach their final destination
At the lake side lodge in Manitoba
The underwood lodge is a collection of cosy
Water front cabins with an attached trailor park along the shores of lake Winnipeg
It is also the world headquarters of Budding Flowers Entertainment
Specializing in the production and distribution of photographs
And VHS tapes for clientele with unique tastes
The girls are welcomed by Mrs Deborah Bouldger
The 52-year-old proprietress
A women of enormous proportions
Who lives with her own three children in the main lodge of the underwood
Upon finding that the girls have no names she christens them Eva and Lynn
Names, which neither she, nor the twins themselves are ever able to keep straight
The twins days of the underwood are relatively comfortable
The food is delicious and there are many other girls their age
Once a week, photo sessions take place
Convivial affairs that involve make-up (smile)
A wide variety of dress up costumes and inventive new games
Every few days Mrs Bouldger introduces the girls to one of their many uncles
"Eva, Lyn, say hello to your uncle Mark"
These uncles, seemingly endless in number
Travel from all over the world to visit their nieces
The girls don't always like their new uncles
But Mrs Bouldger is always quick to remind them that
"family is family" and "blood is thicker than water"
The conjoined sisters are not popular amongst the other girls
However, one gentle resident
A few years their senior befriends them and takes them under her wing
"Hello, what's your name?"
She has soft, blond hair that reaches down to her knees
Everyone says she looks like a mermaid
Dressed daily by Mrs Bouldger
In trade mark fishnet stockings and vintage attire
Sandy is by far the most popular girl of the underwood
She has so many uncles that the twins lose count
Every night after dinner and chores
Sandy talks the young sisters into bed
And tells them fantastic stories until they fall peacefully to sleep
"And after the three long weeks at sea Jean Luke, the sailor finally spotted land"
But these happy times do not last
Shortly after the twins' third Christmas under Mrs Bouldger's care
Sandy disappears, never to return
The twins remain in the underwood
For the greater part of two, long, miserable years
Without Sandy to protect them
They are ostracized and abused by the other girls
"What are you looking at, four-eyes?!"
The photo sessions involve fewer fancy costumes and over time
Their uncles become more peculiar
The twins begin to notice the disturbing tendency for girls
Much like their dear friend Sandy
They quietly disappear from the underwood around their 12th or 13th birthday
The sisters brace themselves for something terrible
One autumn, when the girls are eleven
An old man, who speaks only Spanish
Takes the twins into a large, orange van and drives them to their new home
"Step right up, step right up, see amazing human oddities"
"Freaks of nature, be warned, people with heart condition"
"Children, women, we will accept no responsibility"
"For fainting, reoccurring nightmares, or death"
Dillard and Fullerton, elusive and illogical traveling show
Is the 12th largest touring circus in North America
Former insurance salesman, Dillard and Fullerton
Distinguish their enterprise by procuring
The most shocking specimen of the grotesque and unusual
Their small administrative staff works tirelessly
To combat legal actions and public allegations
Of animal cruelty and human slave trafficing
Life in the circus is harder than their time at the underwood
There is always work to be done
In addition to their chores of laundry and sweeping
Mr Dillard insist that the twins spend many hours each day practicing their act
"What are you staring at for?"
The girls are frightened of the clowns
Several of whom, by amazing coincidence, also happen to be their uncles
But still, overall these early days at the circus are happy time for the twins
Every night to the delight of audiences across the country
The girls appear in the center ring, singing and strumming the ukulele
At the top of Bimba and Kimba
The world's only known conjoined twin siamese elephants
The twins feel they have found true soulmates in Bimba and Kimba
Who they affectionately refer to as 'Elephant, Elephant'
This special bond is reciprocates by the pakaderms
Who fondly nozzle the girls with their trunks
And seem to delight in giving them rides
The twins and the elephants are inseparable
With the help of the Alphonso de Ares tin, the animal trainer
The twins tend to the elephants, feeding them and grooming them daily
But one terrible August morning
Bimba and Kimba refuse to take their food
Due to the unsanitary conditions of their quarters
And an improper diet of popcorn and cotton candy
The elephants have contracted a rare form of elephantine diphtheria
Compounded by early onset Alzheimer's disease
For the next two weeks can only stand by helplessly
As their companions become sicker and weaker
And begin displaying obvious signs of memory loss
The last few days are almost unbearable
With Bimba and Kimba's confused
Sad eyes looking up at the girls with great anguish, but no hint of recognition
And on one, grim, September day
The sisters 16th birthday
The funeral is held at the same day a grizzly affair
Had an industrial trush compactor behind a Home Depot in Fort Dodge, Iowa
Without Bimba and Kimba life is but a terrible and meaningless void
They resign themselves to living out the rest of their hollow existence in solemn mourning
The emotionally exausted sisters fall from favour within the circus
No longer willing to sing and play their ukulele
The girls are dressed in a pink tutu and forced to balance on the giant red ball
An impossible task for the conjoined sisters
The audience roars with laughter each time they awkwardly fall
Their discomfort is increased by a pair of radical groups
Who have taken an interest in the twins
Every night in most major cities, protesters assemble
Nosily waving signs and chanting slogans in front of the Box Office
The first faction claims to represent an organization called "F-A-S-S-E-N"
The Foundation for Always Separating Siamese Twins Everywhere Now
Citing the bible, F-A-S-S-E-N members believe
That it is the will of the Lord that all conjoined twins be separated
And allowed to live individual lives
Wielding symbolical surgical saws and blunt carbon knives
F-A-S-S-E-N members tried the ticket buyers for supporting the abomination of God
The second group operates under the acronym S-P-L-I-T
The Society for the Preservation of Linked Identical Twins
A reactionary organization
Working to discredit the claims of F-A-S-S-E-N
S-P-L-I-T believes that conjoined twins
Will play a critical role in the second coming of Christ
The twins are terrified by both groups
The knives and saws make them very nervous
And S-P-L-I-T members make threats to kidnap the girls
And take them to where they will be kept safe in a place of darkness until the rapture
One day before a Sunday matinée in Sacramento
A chaotic brawl erupts between the two factions
And one F-A-S-S-E-N member gets allarmingly close to the twins with a hacksaw (it's the will of the Lord)
Stricken with fear, the sisters decide that they are no longer safe at the circus
That night, they make a resolution to leave the Dillard and Fullerton travelling show