Ft. Walton Wake-Up Call

She woke up mad, she's tryna pick a fight

Got a phone to my ear 'cause I'm tryna book a flight

And she's crazy as a goddamned loon

And the airline's drowning in the belly of the beast

And they're all bogged down from the weather in the east

And we're not going anywhere soon

And it's thirty degrees on the Emerald Coast

I spilled my coffee and I burned my toast

And the rent car's sitting on a flat

The internet's down and they don't know why

And I damn near made the desk clerk cry

And there wasn't any reason for that

She's camped in the shower and she won't come out

And I don't have a clue what that's about

I'll just have to wait and see

Can't get online to check the bank

Twitter's on fire, my stocks all tanked

But what's really getting to me is

I keep losing my glasses

I keep losing my glasses

I keep losing my glasses

I keep losing my glasses

Georgia license Code B Restriction

Can't drive 'less I got my specs on

Double negative's proper diction

In this North Florida redneck lexicon

Ain't nothing but Fox News fiction on

Nobody's showing the game I'm betting on

And how they gonna build a wall with no Mexicans anyway?

Honeymoon's over, less than enchanted

Gonna be driving back to Atlanta

She don't like the freeway so we're going scenic

Apalachicola and points in between

Patches of fog on up to Sopchoppy

Ten four, driver, we good and gone, copy

We'll get home tonight or there's gonna be hell to pay

Roadside stand selling Tupelo honey

You take your jar and leave 'em the money

That's how they do it down here

But it's cold and they're not selling today

She'd just break a jar on my head anyway

'Cause it's my fault we got such a damn late start

I was doing my part for my art and

I kept losing my glasses (glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (keep losing my glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (glasses)

Made the exit and turned up Ponce

And I'll be damned if I know what she wants

But we gotta get something to eat

Majestic Diner's our best chance

Pork chop and eggs oughta save the romance

It's maybe a mile up the street

My daddy told me, if you got any sense

Better feed the woman, many years hence

I know what he meant and I got me a plan

But I can't read the menu 'cause, damn

I keep losing my glasses (glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (keep losing my glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (keep losing my glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (keep losing my glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (keep losing my glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (keep losing my glasses)

I keep losing my glasses (glasses)

Oh yeah, I keep on

Mm-hmm

Ooh, mm-hmm, mm