Single / Track

Left Brain, Right Brain

Bo Burnham•Official Audio (YouTube API)

Lyrics

Okay, um, we're moving right along here, um-

(Hello, patient 24602)

Sorry

Hello, how are-

(How are you feeling?)

Um, not great

(Has the treatment been working?)

Uh, I don't think so, no

(What are your remaining symptoms?)

I just, I-

I internalize my feelings a lot

I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people

I feel like I just, I- (so basically, you're still a little bitch)

Yes, very mature of you, disembodied voice, way up there

(I was just joking, nigga)

Alright, you're not as safe in Wisconsin as you might think with that shit

(I'm not human, I can say whatever I want) alright, just, just, what?

Get to the point! What's wrong with me? Please, please!

(Your emotions and your logic are at war)

Okay

(Your creativity and your analysis are at war

And most simply, your left and right brain are at war)

My left and my-

(To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other) Sep-

(Splitting your neurological functions in five...)

Well, we book an appointment or something? (Four...)

(Three, two...) Dow- You don't just start counting down to

(One...) Major medical procedures

Uh- (This may hurt a bit)

I don't even know what it is! (Zero)

Just tell me what you're-

(Isolation complete

This is Bo's left brain - objective, logical, cold, analytical

Aware of patterns, aware of trends

He's efficient, and a prick

This is Bo's right brain - subjective, creative, sensory

Aware of feelings, aware of people

He's emotional, and an idiot)

That's your opinion, just- careful with opinions

(Okay boys, play nice)

I am the left brain, I am the left brain

I work really hard till my inevitable death brain

You got a job to do, you better do it right

And the right way is with the left brain's might

I like Oreos and pussy, yes! In that order!

And I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3, Woody!

I am the right brain (sha-na-na-na-na)

I have feelings (sha-na-na-na-na)

I'm a little all over the place

But I'm lustful, trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love

Here comes a female, here comes a female

Puff your chest out, take your phone, and check your e-mail

Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate

So gather data now, and see if she's a possible mate

Holy fuck, I think she might be the one

There's something about her, I just can't describe it!

I am the Earth, she's the glorious Sun!

I want her to trust me and I just want her to-

How do I say this, sit on my face? Sit, sit on my face!

Alright, now, right brain, you're being insane

No, left brain, I'm just being alive

You should try it, you might like it

I worked hard to give him everything he cared about

You were worried 'bout the things that he was scared about

I'm calm and collected when you act wild

I am the adult, you are the child

You think you're the right one every time

You think you know everything, but you don't know anything at all

Half of his problems were s'posed to be mine

But you wanted everything, I hope that you're happy

'Cause he's sure not!

Well, according to my calculations

I'm sorry, let me run the numbers again, um, you're a pussy

Name-calling? Really? You're gonna just do name-calling?

I'm not calling names, alright? I'm just stating facts

And the fact is, you're a quivering pussy

I'm the pussy? Well, at least I don't play with toys still, okay?

Rubik's Cubes are not toys, they keep my spatial reasoning skills sharp!

Left brain plays with toys! Look at you, mister, you're a- toy player!

Well, at least I did my fuckin' job, alright?

I kept him working, I kept him productive!

You were supposed to look after him

You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable through all this

Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling!

If he's feeling unhappy, it's because you failed him!

You did this to him, he hates you, I know he does!

He fuckin' hates you!

Right brain, look, I'm sorry, okay?

Look, maybe there's something that we could do together

Take the best parts of both of us, put 'em together

It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze

So you could man the themes, I'll man the form

It's something that George Carlin did

It's something that Steve Martin did

It's something special that we could both perform

Do you know what it is?

Juggling! We could juggle, and juggle our cares away!

It was- It was comedy, we could do comedy together

(Initiate reassembly)

Alright, le- right brain, look

We're gonna do comedy together, alright?

Alright, alright, left brain, I'll do comedy with you

Look, we can fix him like this

(Commencing reformation of the simple mind in five...) we're gonna make him happy again

Left brain! (Four...)

Left brain, I love you! (Three...)

(Two... one...) I know

(Experimentation complete)

Thank you guys for coming, it's so nice, I-

I wanted to record the CD in Madison

'Cause this is always one of my favorite places to play

I played here last year, I don't know if some people came to that one

That's very nice, thanks for coming again, I appreciate it

Um, there's gonna be- y'know, there's little silences in the shows

I'm moving between pieces

Don't feel like you have to fill that silence

With laughter or applause

I don't want you leaving this show, saying, y'know

"My hands hurt from clapping", "My stomach hurts from laughing"

I just want you leaving this show, thinking

And we're on our way"

Assembling your AI-powered music player

Left Brain, Right Brain

Lyrics