Sports

There's a half-full, lukewarm, Cool Frost Gatorade bottle that's been rolling around

in the trunk of my car since 2017 and I've just never bothered throwing it out

There's an empty 3-in-1 bodywash-shampoo-conditioner sitting on my shower floor

And I've been washing myself with the water that collects inside it

'cause I keep forgetting to buy more

You might think I'm just another typical straight guy, but that's not entirely true

I don't care about sports

And also I have anxiety

I don't care about sports

and everybody seems kind of mad at me

Are you guys mad a me?

I'm no less toxic, I'm just more self aware

Not like in the good way though

I'm not like other straight guys

I don't like sports

Unless you consider smoking weed and thinking you might be gay a sport

in which case I wouldn't say I like sports but I've certainly played my fair share

though strictly speaking when it comes to physical activities involving a ball

I don't care