Lyrics
My life has become a depressing incessant
Bore
My new mission?
To oldly go where old man has gone before
Like a floundering flabby old fart
Whose fling's been flung?
Yes thank you Bones
But at night in my dreams
I'm still back on the bridge
And I'm young!
Flashback!
Yeah!
Just a sly pioneer of the Final Frontier
Earth year 2266
Sure the sixties were fraught
But damn I was hot!
And you bet that I got my kicks
We would survey a planet
And chart it and scan it
And man it got rough in so many ways
I'd ask Spock to apprise
And then Bones would advise
So I'd do what I was gonna do anyways
I was just a dreaming pup
But my heart was beaming up!
James T Kirk was the swingin'est captain who ever swung!
Oh what I wouldn't give to be
Young!
Hey Flashback Sulu
Warp speed baby!
We discovered new worlds and new alien girls
Any sector you've heard of I've been to it
My hair was all mine
My body was fine
And all species of lady were into it
Forging peace all around each new planet we found
Captains never beam down
But I would!
Then come back from the trip
And relax on the ship
Safe in walls made of cardboard and plywood
With Uhura on the phones
Chekov Sulu Scotty Spock and
Me!
Damnit Jim!
There's no crew in the fleet who could beat
Those I voyaged among
Oh what I wouldn't give to be
Young!
Ah so many adventures
Exploring new systems
Investigating anomalies
And that one time Spock's brain
Got stolen
That was weird
Oh yeah and the crew of the Botany Bay
We rescued them yes
But then got in their way
They tried to take over the Enterprise
But I cut their big guy right down to size
Oh that planet we hastily stranded them on!
And their leader
What was his name?
Keith?
No wait
Khan, that's what it was Khan!
Whatever happened to that guy?
Anyway
I was young debonair sorta devil may care
Squarely daring each catch 22
Still the risks that I took weren't for kicks or for looks
But to save my ship and her crew
Now the memories flood my brain
With futuristic sci-fi white guy pain!
Are my winter years meant to be spent as a hero unsung?
Unsung?
Why can't I go back to then at Warp eight point five
To those better days when I was really alive?
What I wouldn't give to be
Young
Ahh my hip!