Men!

Men!

Men, men, horrible men

I've said it before and I'll say it again

What I think of men, you can't print in a book

Lucky the girl who has never been took

Men, men, give 'em a chance

They'll string you along with a song and a dance

They'll slip you the wink with a pink lemonade

But leave you as soon as the moon starts to fade

Oh, I do not choose to tarry

In a bonnet of Burberry blue

And I don't propose to marry

You can call off the minister

I'll be a spinister

Men, men, mischievous men

Be on your guard when you stroll in the glen

They'll ply you with trinkets and promise you pearls

Regarding their promises, do just as mama says

Beat out Saint Thomas' girls

Men, men, horrible word

Show me the dove and I'll give it the bird

Just let a tenderfoot mention l'amour

Quick like a flash, I will give him the cure

Males, males, rip-roarin' males

Frisky from whiskey and fillin' up jails

A five-dollar wager will get you a ten

No deadwood coyote will hogtie this hen

Men are made to breed confusion

Love is wastin' a poisonous bite

So I've come to this conclusion

I don't want any part of them

Oh, the black heart of them

Down, down, down with them all

The cowpunchin' type or the tenderfoot tall

Mule-headed men who are mentally ten

Pluggable, punchable, huggable, clinchable

Loveable, lynchable men

Men have got a sort of nose for

Any chicken who's kickin' around

And I reckon, man, that goes for

Every masculine resident

Up to the president

Hi-ho, song and a dance

Trouble comes double in buckskin and pants

When Adam begat, all the trouble began

So now that we've finally hollered our heads off

And dished all the dirt that we can

For Pete's sake, send us a man