Lyrics
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one's longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
And I help them
Yes, I do
So prepare for the chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shinning new era is tip-toeing nearer
(And where do we feature?)
Just listen to teacher
I know it sounds sordid, but you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues
An injustice deliciously squared
Be prepared
Beata Maria
You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud
(E tibit pater)
Beata Maria
You know I'm so much purer than the common vulgar, weak, licensious crowd
(Qui a pecavi nimis)
Then tell me, Maria
Why I see her dancing there
Why her smoldering eyes still scorch my soul
(Cogitatione)
I feel her, I see her
The sun caught in her raven hair is blazing in me out of all control
(Verbo et opere)
Like fire, hellfire
This fire in my skin
This burning desire is turning me to sin
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no one in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell ya whose team they'd prefer to be on
No one's been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating
My, what a guy that Gaston
Mother knows best
Listen to your mother
It's a scary world out there