Lyrics
The starter cried "Is everybody ready for the race?"
Our super-skier shouted "Yes" and kick-turned into place
Then boldly waved to all his friends, a smirk upon his face
Well, he ain't gonna ski no more
He yawned at his opponents, said the race was good as won
He'd ski the course blindfolded just to add a bit of fun
With bandaged eyes he jetted off 'til his bindings came undone
Well, he ain't gonna ski no more
Gorry, Gorry, what a hell of a way to die
Gorry, Gorry, who's that nitwit trying to fly?
Gorry, Gorry, it's enough to make you cry
Well, he ain't gonna ski no more
He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the sudden drop
He tried to stem, he tried to check and then he tried to stop
His fatal error dawned on him, he should have stayed up top
Well, he ain't gonna ski no more
He hit each pole that set the course and twelve spectators too
Came roarin' cross the finish wearing garlands of bamboo
Two were killed and four were hurt and six were black and blue
Well, he ain't gonna race no more
Oh, Gorry, Gorry, what a hell of a way to die
Gorry, Gorry, it's a sport I'll never try
Gorry, Gorry, it's enough to make you cry
Well, he ain't gonna ski no more
There was crimson on his bindings, there were brains upon his suit
Intestines were a-hanging from the treetops to the roots
We scraped him up from off the snow and poured him from his boots
Well, he ain't gonna ski no more
They took him to the hospital and fixed him up real great
But took off all his arms and legs, a sad and lonely fate
Now he's working in an office, hired as a paper weight
Well, he ain't gonna ski no more
Gorry, Gorry, what a hell of a way to die
Gorry, Gorry, let us raise our glasses high
Gorry, Gorry, now he's in St. Peter's sky
And he ain't gonna ski no more
So skiers, hear my warning, lest you buy a pair of skis
Why take a chance on cracking up or risking a deep freeze?
There's quicker, slicker ways to go, all guaranteed to please