Medley: The Bird / Whiskey River / On the Road Again / He Stopped Loving Her Today

Well, I guess it was back in sixty-three

When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me

So I asked this little girl I was goin' with

To be my wife

Well, she said she would

So I said, "I do"

But I'd-a said "I wouldn't" if I'd-a just knew

How sayin' "I do" was gonna screw up all my o' my life

Well, the first few years weren't all that bad

I'll never forget the good times we had

'Cause I'm reminded every month

When I send her the child support

Well, it wasn't too long till the lust was gone

And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised

The day I come home and found my suitcase

Sittin' out on the porch

Well, I tried to get in, she'd changed the lock

Then I found this note stuck on the mailbox

It said, "Goodbye, turkey

My Attorney will be in touch"

So I decided right then and there

I was gonna do what's right,

Give her her fair share, but, brother,

I didn't assay it was gonna be that much

She got the goldmine (She got the goldmine)

I got the shaft (I got the shaft)

They split it right down the middle

And then they gave her the better half

Well it all sounds sort o' funny

But it hurts too much to laugh

She got the goldmine

And I got the shaft

Now listen, you ain't heard nothin' yet

Why, they gave her the colour television set

Then they gave her the house

The kids and both o' the cars

See, well then they start talkin' 'bout child support

Alimony and the cost o' the Court

It didn't take me long to figure out

How fond of attorneys I was

I'm tellin' ya they have made a mistake

'Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes

Besides, everything I ever had worth takin'

They've already took

While she's livin' like a queen on alimony

I'm workin' two shifts,

Eatin' baloney, askin' myself