Confessions Pt. III (Parody of "Confessions Pt. II" by Usher)

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These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I can say

I came up with more secrets to tell you today

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me

So now I gotta give you part three of my confessions

First I told you 'bout the skank that I was cheatin' with (with)

Then I mentioned she's havin' my kid

That's not all, now I recall more, you see

So I'll give you part three of my confessions

Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do

Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two

Like, remember when I told you that I knew Pauly Shore (Pauly Shore)

That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for

I borrowed your ChapStick from you without asking

Oh, and I tried out your nose hair trimmer too

And by the way, your diamond ring is cubic zirconium

I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I can say

I need to get some things off my chest right away

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me

Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions

Threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink

There've been times when I peed in your sink

Don't know why but you and I should agree

That belongs in part three of my confessions

Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out

Why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grout

Oh, and sometimes in private

Really like to dress up like Shirley Temple

And spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)

My boss thinks I'm a jerk, didn't get that raise

I haven't changed my underwear in 27 days

And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you're a midget

I'm so sorry, Debbie, I mean, Bridget

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I can say

I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me

I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions

Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor

FYI, it was not a cold sore

(Not a cold sore)

Oops, my bad

(Hope you're not sore at me)

But you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions

You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this

But you remember that shirt you got me for my birthday?

Well, I returned it for store credit

That thing was hideous, what were you thinking?

Oh, by the way, I wasn't really sick last week

I just didn't want to go to your stupid office picnic

Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of Rice Krispies

What I meant was, there was only enough left for me, sorry

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I can say

I thought of some more things that should scare you away

These are my confessions

Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me

I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions

Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat (cat)

And I lied, yes, that dress makes you look fat

Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore

'Til I give you part four of my confessions

I mean, I'm just getting started here

I'm not even halfway down the list

This thing could go on for

Hey hey, where are you going?

Honey?

What?

Was it something I said?

Women!