Planes

And I have friends who are in the same business I'm in

For years, they have made fun of me because while I'm on the interstate

They're on an airplane, and I keep telling them

I said, just watch the news

There's always something, you know

Remember a few years ago

The plane that crashed into the Hudson River up in New York?

They made a movie about that

We all know who brought that plane down

Birds

I pause so you folks can think about this

I will repeat this

Birds

A jumbo jet, an airplane, an airplane, an airplane

Not a kite, not a balloon

A damn airplane

Knocked out of the sky by some birds

It was birds, not a deer

Birds

And this is an actual quote from the pilot

The pilot's name was Captain Sully

This is an actual quote

The moment I saw the birds coming, I knew there could be trouble

The last time a bird hit my car

Who do you think went down?

Case closed

Almost every week of my life, I pull out of my driveway, headed out on some trip

Not once has any member of my family

Fallen into the front door going, be careful now, there's birds out there

And get this

The very moment your friends find out that you're afraid to fly

Here's what they'll say to you

As if we'd never heard it before

You know, more people die in car wrecks than they do plane crashes, you know

So

That's the way I want to go

Car wreck

We don't have heart attacks in my family

We just cross the median

Usually on a weekend

Just out drinkin'