How Long

I caught myself not saying no.

Driving two towns over just to see you smile.

Held out chocolate like it was gold.

Like love could be wrapped in silver foil a while.

I treat you better than most men ever could

And I'm not sorry, I'd do it again if I should.

But how long can I hold on to this life

While praying for a shot in the next?

How long can I be your harbor

While you chase storms with someone else's breath?

You say I'm the quiet, the home,

But I'm bleeding from loving alone.

And the one who loves you right

Might not survive the fight.

I've watched you light up for people

Who never stayed long enough to know your soul.

And still I stood behind the curtain.

Holding space where no one else could go.

You come to me when you're tired of the world,

But I've never been the one you run to first.

But how long can I hold on to this life

While praying for a shot in the next?

How long can I be your harbor

While you chase storms with someone else's breath?

You say I'm the quiet, the home,

But I'm bleeding from loving alone.

And the one who loves you right

Might not survive the fight.

I'd never stand in the way of your joy,

Not even if it splits me in two.

I love you like a sunrise loves the sky

Bright, but always out of view.

You say you need me here, strong and still,

But this kind of love can also kill.

So how long can I anchor your peace

While drowning in my own silence?

How long can I keep holding space

While you drift into someone else's island?

You call me safe - you call me whole,

But you can never give back what you stole.

And the one who waits through every storm...

Can only break for so long.