The Jazz Butcher Meets Count Dracula (B side of Mark Smith)

It was a dark and stormy night

There was someone making noises in the flat next door

It could give anybody a fright

If you didn't know who lived in the flat next door

Who is it?

It could be anybody

It was hell with the blood last Friday

People were dancing then the lights went out

I mean a girl could get into trouble

If she couldn't see the face of the boy next door

I said who?

It could be a travelling salesman or something like that

It could be Harold or Buddy Charlie

It could be Count Dracula

I knew as soon as I got there I shouldn't have gone

The hallway was spooky and no lights shone

There was a squeak in the bats and a rattle of chains

And nobody would stay there if they had any brains

But I was told it was a party and I had no shame

No one knew I shouldn't be there just the same

There was a ring on a bell like a bell from hell

And a wolf in the corner and a horrible smell

A coffin in the building kept banging around

In an evil stench and an evil sound

I saw a man with red eyes like he drank too much

And a couple of girls you wouldn't ever want to touch

Stuff on a wall like what the devil wrote

It's a load of evil mothers yelling "Go for the throat"

It was Dracula time and now it's time to go

It was Dracula time and that's as bad as you know

It was Dracula time and now it's time to go

It was Dracula time and that's as bad as you know

He looked me up and down and he showed me his fangs

He was just about to go and then he sang

I'm gonna blow this place

I'm gonna blow this place up

I'm gonna blow this place

I'm gonna blow my face up

I'm gonna blow my face up

I'm gonna blow my face up

I'm gonna blow this place up

And I'm gonna blow this place up

I'm gonna blow this place

I'm gonna blow this place up