Goodbyes At The Party

You avoided the rounds

Of goodbyes at the party

I can picture the sound

Of you smoking beside me

Through all the lights

Is a weird constellation

Feels like I'm already late

For Saint John's revelation

Light a candle for the dead

For the list of names inside your head

Every year the number grows

Burn a match when you're alone

Let it crackle like a gramophone

That plays a song you used to know

There are people downstairs

cnd all the adults are crying

Snowdrops in the hall

The smell of bacon frying

Make your entrance into the room

Feel every eye that lands on you

I know you'll remember this

There's blood in your nose

cnd they tell you it's fatal

You once wrote you were so tired

Of not being able

Without taking your pills

Without stamping your feet

Without feeling sick

To simply fall asleep

You avoided the rounds

Of goodbyes at the party

I can picture the sound

Of you smoking beside me