Letras
All rise, court is now in session
Face the flag of your country
Recognize the principles for which it stands
Sit down
Municipal Court Number 38 is now in session
Honorable Gladys Dax presiding
Good morning
Bailiff, you may call the first case of the day
State versus Horwinkle
State versus Horwinkle
Leslie Horwinkle, please step to the docket
Are you Leslie Horwinkle?
Well, if I wasn't Leslie Horwinkle
I wouldn't be here now, would I?
Just sit down over there, Horwinkle
Kiss my ass
Judge, this is case 148
People versus Horwinkle
That's the one I talked about yesterday
What the hell are you staring at
You goddamn fascist pig?
Be quiet, Horwinkle
Haven't you ever seen a criminal before?
Mr. Horwinkle
Kiss my ass, you stupid bastard
Leslie Horwinkle, you are charged that on the night
Of September 14th at approximately 8 PM
You did willfully, with malice aforethought
Sexually assault a 16-year-old girl
How do you plead?
I plead insanity
Insanity?
That's right, insanity
I'm just crazy about that stuff
Mr. Horwinkle, this has not been the first time
You have appeared before this court on such a charge
And we must make sure
That you do not appear here again
Bailiff, whack his pee-pee
Get your hands off me now
I warn you, you stupid bastard
Bailiff, call the next case, please
State versus Stoner
State versus Stoner
Are you counsel for Stoner?
Uh, yeah, yes, yes, I am
Thank you, thank you
Alright, alright, listen, listen
Just sit over there
And I'll do the talking, okay?
Just be quiet
Oh man, relax, man
You know, it's cool, man
We got this sucker in the bag
Okay, now listen
I'll do the talking
When I call on you to come up
Don't forget what you have to say, okay?
Oh yeah, man
Hey man, it's cool
Just sit down, man
I'll do the talking
Yeah man, go on
Do your trip
Okay, now just be quiet
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
Your honor
Now it might seem suspicious
That my client had in his possession
At the time of his arrest
24 pounds of marijuana
5,000 LSD capsules
And a gallon of Ripple wine
To the layman on the street
This may seem suspicious
However, there is an excuse, your honor
There is an explanation
It seems that my client
Had merely found these drugs
And he was on his way
To the police department
To turn them in
At the time of his arrest
Now we're not saying
That my client is an angel
We admit openly
That on two occasions he has smoked marijuana
And on one occasion taken LSD
Of course
Under the clinical supervision of a doctor
Now what we want you to do tonight
Ladies and gentlemen
Is to look inside your hearts
To examine your own consciences
And remember this
Judge not, and ye shall not be judged
Now as a true sign of repentance
I'd like to have my client step forward
And say just a very few words
In his own behalf at this time
Far out, man
I almost broke my neck, man
Oh, that's heavy, man
Oh wow
Don't forget what I told you to say
Oh yeah, man
Hey, your honor, man
No, not that one
That judge is over there
Oh yeah
Hey, your honor, man
Now dig, man
Like I know a lot of cats, man
Call you a pig
You know what I mean?
No, really, man
But I ain't like that, man, you dig?
'Cause I dig pigs, man
Quiet, quiet about pigs
No, really, man
You see, my old lady's a pig
You understand?
Shut up
Just tell them what I told you
Hey yeah, listen, man
Like my man here says
Now you dig?
I've only tried marijuana, man
Like 22 times, man
Twice
Uh, twice, man
And yeah, man
And I only did acid
Uh, ten times, man
No, no, once
Yeah
No, once, man
Yeah, really, man
Hey now listen, man
Now dig
I know, man
Where that drug trip leads
Like I know it's really a drag, man
You know
Because I
You know
Like I really can dig that
You can get hung up, man
And you get hung up, man
And you just go through some
You know what I mean, man?
Tell them what I told you
It can be far out, man
You know what I mean?
Tell them what I told you
Like it's a heavy far-out thing, man
You can really get involved, man
You know what I mean?
Like this whale, man
Once you get there, man
What I think my client is trying to say
Your honor
Is that he has transcended
The drug experience
Yes, that's it
He has gone beyond that
He needs no crutches to face
Now hold on, man
Hold it, man
I'm doing the rap
He needs no crutches to face society every morning
As a useful, producing citizen
Hold it, man
Now I'm talking to the cat, man
Order
Order in the court
I'm talking to the cat, man
You just shut up, man
You understand?
Now just shut up, man
Or you're gonna blow it for me, man
And dig, man
Like you know I don't need no marijuana, man
You know what I mean, man?
And I don't need no acid, man
You know what I mean?
'Cause I'm hooked on downers, man
Order
Order in the court
Order
Order in this court