You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

You're the reason I'm ridin' around on recapped tires

And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on wires

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

Ah, but looks ain't everything, and money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

You're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop

And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

Ah, but looks ain't everything, and money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

I guess that we won't ever have everything we need

'Cause when we get ahead, just got another mouth to feed

And that's the reason that my good looks and my figure's gone

And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

Ah, but looks ain't everything, and money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

(Oh now, J.P., why in the devil don't you go

And shave and put on a clean pair of pants?)

Well, Nicky, look at yourself

I wish you'd take them curlers out of your hair

And put on a little bit of makeup

And get out of that housecoat before suppertime

(Well, let me tell you, J.P., after everything I've

Been through today, I think I look like a movie star)

Oh yeah? Well, like Wilford Brimley (Well, besides that

All our kids took after your part of the family anyway)

Oh yeah, did they, huh? (Yeah, what

About the ones all covered in hair?)

Well, I guess you got me there (Like an animal)