Devil In My Bloodstream

We wiped out all the Buffalo

Around the turn of the last century

And so its factories and sawgrass

Wheat fields and asphalt laid in front of me

The Midwest feels like a hollow place

That we filled with love and industry

And we're staring at the frozen ground in Goodwill suits

Silent as the pastor reads the eulogy

Well I, I wanted to see just a little bit of everything

Let me be

Two blackbirds on a highway sign

Are laughing at me at four in the morning

They played the war drum out of time

So I'm not sure where I've been marching

I wanna be strong, but it's not easy anymore

I'm hoping I'm wrong

It's 16 hours straight to home

From the heart of North Missouri

And so I searched through my great-grandpa's memoirs

For the devil in my bloodstream

Depression grabbed his throat and

Choked the life out of him slowly

I got the same blood coursing through my veins

It'll come for me eventually

I bet I'd be a fucking coward

I bet I'd never have the guts for war

'Cause I can't spend another month away from here

These frantic rest stop phone calls don't get answered anymore

But I, I wanted to know if I could please come home

So let me know

Two blackbirds on a highway sign

Are laughing at me at four in the morning

They played the war drum out of time

So I'm not sure where I've been marching

I wanna be strong, but it's not easy anymore

I'm hoping I'm wrong

I'm hoping I'm wrong

I know how it feels to be

At war with the world

That never loved me (I'm hoping I'm wrong)

I know how it feels to be (I'm hoping I'm wrong)

I'm hoping, I'm hoping, I'm hoping

Two blackbirds on a highway sign

Are laughing at me at four in the morning

They played the war drum out of time

So I'm not sure where I've been marching

I wanna be strong