I Ran Into My Ex

I ran into my ex the other day

And she's like

Have you ever thought about

Gettin' back together

I said

Did you ever take a shit

And think about

Puttin' it back in

You don't re-kiss someone

Who gave you herpes

You don't stick a booger back up

Your nose

And you sure as hell don't

Scoop up your puke

And eat it like leftovers

Never touch what your body already rejected

My buddy's like

Man, you're too hard on her

Every girl's got a few

Rotten bites

I said, yeah

But when a restaurant gives you

Food poisoning

You don't go back next week

'Cause the waiter seemed nice

You don't climb back on a toilet

You've already clogged

You don't re-lick a popsicle

That fell in the sand

And you sure as hell don't

Taste a booger

Just to see if it's gotten sweeter

Never touch what your body already rejected

I saw her name pop up in a group chat

Bragging 'bout a new guy she'd met

Jealous

A friend asked

Hell no

Some mistakes aren't meant to be repeated

You don't lick your fingers after touching

Dog shit

You don't sniff your underwear to see

If it can be worn again

And you sure as hell don't reuse a condom

That ripped on the first round

You don't re-kiss someone

Who gave you herpes

You don't stick a booger back up

Your nose

And you sure as hell don't

Scoop up your puke

And eat it like leftovers

Never touch what your body already rejected