Better Space

I'm really trying to get into a better space

Which means

I need to get in a better place with my pen

Which means

No more scribing my sickness

In disguise of sick scripture

Or trying to say ill shit

All in effort to feed this illness

I really need to deal with in order to heal

In order to kill what lives within

You know, those demons that feed

That need for applause

Applause that really serves as nothing but another cause

For more man-made verbal Band-Aids

That serve as gauze

But don't really treat the wounds

The problem with these scars

Is that they keloid into crutches

Meaning I've had them for so long

I don't know if I can walk without them

But I'm learning

If you really want to process life's trauma

It speaks volumes being able to go mute

Me, I have this problem with publicly talking about them

I got this sick twisted fascination with these

Self-inflicted literary lacerations that

Leave me feeling like a

Verbal vagabond in search for a community

Within a poetry community that

Never really made me feel like part of the community

Maybe it's me

Maybe I gotta take accountability

Because I've been known to ignore the standard rhetoric and say

Fuck the poetic etiquette set by

So-called poetic vets who have never left the internet

Or their own backyard to garnish the rest of the poetry community's respect

Ironically, when I'm at my worst

Is when I have my best to give

Some may hear this and think disrespect

I hear competitive nature

Some Poets rather Chase success over sincerity

Only to realize that success is overrated

All it will do is teach you

it's a lot easier to talk your shit

Once you realize they already hate you

But it's cool

I'm growing

And I'm in a better space

So we permeate these pages with purpose

Searching beyond the surface for our final form

I'm romancing the rhythm of the raindrops while

Dancing in between the dry spots, while

Some remain drenched in depression

Pretending as if they've never experienced a storm

I'm an 80's baby

A fatherless child

Raised on hip-hop and mentored by men torn

Into literary pieces of art

So I scope bodies of work to body the work I've already created

There is no creatine in my pen just

Creativity while in an pensive mood

I'm mentally mastering the many sides of me

And mashing them together to become that

One dude they all can look up to

Who steadily progresses with the pedigree of a champion

Standing well within my aura

With my back against the wind

And chin ascended towards the sun

I'm telling you

I'm in a better space