Letras
How many people designated drivers tonight?
Three people
Two thousand people are staring at me like
Why get drunk if you ain't gonna drive?
That's half the fun of being plowed
See all those headlights coming at you
Trying to figure out which two's the real ones
And I'm not making fun of this program
I think it's a great idea
You know, 'cause anything is safer than the way we used to do it
"Hey dude, get up, give us a ride home, man
Come on, what you say, we'll buy you a beer
Come on, what you say?"
The only problem with the designated driver program
It's not the world's most desirable job
'Cause if you think about it
Basically you're babysitting people
Whose biggest ambition is to pee in the parking lot
But if you ever get talked into doing it
Have fun with the group
Like at the end of the night
Drop 'em off at the wrong damn house
Preferably in their boss's front yard or something
"Where the hell are my flamingos?"
You can make money on 'em
Drunks will give you money for anything
What you do, cram as many of 'em as you can fit into your car
On the way home, stop at every gas station you come to
Get out, pretend like you're putting gas in the car
Make them pay for a full dang tank
You make four or five hundred dollars in a ten mile stretch
"Dang Bill, the mileage on this thing sucks"
Too many of you know what I'm talking about
Just please don't drink and drive, it's not funny
And I've known it all my life
I was a kid, I was riding on the front seat of the car with my dad
And he had been drinking beer all day
And we got pulled over by the highway patrol
The officer walked up to my dad's window and he went
"Excuse me there, sir, could I see your license please?
No sir, I don't need a cold beer
I don't think you do either
Mr. Foxworthy, do you know why I pulled you over, sir?