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I'm sorry, but I'm not
That I auctioned off your car
That I sold all your guitars
That I set the bed on fire
With your favorite Zippo lighter
I'm sorry, but I'm not
Just another tragic day
I got a little time to waste
Yes, I posted all those shots
Of you compromised and naked
Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm not
That I shut down your accounts
That I hacked into your bank
That I screwed your boss again
Of course, I told all of your friends
Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm not
That I had to call the cops
I'm not one who likes to narc
But when they set the trial date
I'm sure I'll be very far away
I'm sorry, but I'm not
Just another tragic day
Had a little time to waste
Had a little time to waste
Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm not
What the hell did you expect?
A merit badge for playing dead?
Am I supposed to be a friend
To such a fucker?
I'm sorry, but I'm not
I'm sorry, oh, but I'm not