What Family Might Say

Don't mind the traffic at the shoppin' mall

I even like an orange Friday, y'all

I can't believe it's already here

Thank God, it happens only once a year

I love the lights and Santa's sleigh

Swappin' gifts and watchin' children play

The crazy thing about the holidays

You just don't know what family might say

You just don't know what family might say

Pull my finger, the turkey's dry

Saying, "Granny gained weight, would you look at them thighs"

Get your heathen kids under control

Tell me, is your daddy still on parole?

I heard he's still got a year to go

The crazy thing about the holidays

You just don't know what family might say

You just don't know what family might say

You know it was just last year I brought my best friend

Yeah, and Aunt Patty made a pass at him

I still can't believe all them things she said

That turned his face a shade of Rudolph red

I love the lights and Santa's sleigh

Swappin' gifts and watchin' children play

The crazy thing about the holidays

You just don't know what family might say

You just don't know what family might say

Would you look at that scrawny little Christmas tree

And that's the ugliest sweater that I ever did see

Ain't no filter goin' on in this house

No tellin' what's about to come out of their mouths

I love the lights and Santa's sleigh

Swappin' gifts and watchin' children play

The crazy thing about the holidays

You just don't know what family might say

You just don't know what family might say

You just don't know what family might say

You just don't know what family might say

Ooh, she sure is pretty

Uh, that's your cousin, John

So? What?

Somebody get the bar of soap