Honest with myself.

If I'm being honest with myself, I'm not really doing all that well

I've been going through it for a while now

And everyone expects me just to smile now

But if I'm being honest with myself

I could really use a little help

Maybe if somebody cared to listen

I wouldn't have to feel so fucking distant

If I'm being honest with myself

I got a lot up on my chest, and it's hard to fucking breathe

And I try to be myself, but it's myself that's killing me

I try to cover up my heart, try to cover up the scars

Try to cover up the fact that I've been sitting in the dark

Can't deal with all the times that I

Thought to myself, I wanna die

I wanna cry, and let It out

But people go and run their mouth

I'm fucking done, and I'm on the run and honestly, my feelings won

Honestly, I hate myself for being weak when I needed Help

All the shit I couldn't help, like memories and feelings felt

Best friend died all by herself

And I dealt with that all by myself

Cause when in need, there's No one else

Just look at me, not hard to tell

Wonder why the world's so cold

Cause needing help is getting old

About to fold from all this weight

Still holding up, I'm doing great

I'm doing fine, won't Waste time

To let it out, won't let it shine

Just let it be, just let it go

Just let me breathe, I'm letting go

Just push it down, I'm never free

My problem is, it's always me

If I'm being honest with myself

I'm not really doing all that well

I've been going through it for a while now

And everyone expects me just to smile now

But if I'm being honest with myself

I could really use a little help

Maybe if somebody cared to listen

I wouldn't have to feel so fucking distant

If I'm being honest with myself

To tell the truth, I fucked it up

By getting high and giving up

Crazy how much I really lost

Cause I didn't see it, and I paid the cost

I paid for all that alcohol, hurt all those who were involved

I thought that I was all alone, till I sat in that home alone

I see it all up in my head

I'm getting mad and I'm seeing red

All the shit that I allowed, left me with a broken house

I broken down, it's over now

Why can't life just be rewound

Why can't I just make them proud

Why can't I just see them smile

It's been a while, but I'll get back up

But you know that I won't back up

I'm strong on my own, I tell the truth

But it's dead wrong

I'm holding in so much stress

Life is like a fuck test

I pray to God that I'm not next

I say this shit in my last breath

If I'm being honest with myself, I'm not really doing all that well

I've been going through it for a while now, and everyone expects me just to smile now

But if I'm being honest with myself, I could really use a little help

Baby if somebody cared to listen, I wouldn't have to feel so fucking distant

If I'm being honest with myself