This feeling inside I have tried to hide
I know it sounds cliche but
Every timed try no matter the depth of my grind
I am back in this bind
It's not just my mind
I think I might get left behind like twine unwound
I try to unbind but life's far too unkind
Lost the spring in my step
The spring clean left unkept, unkempt
I can't thrive just barely alive as I survive this free dive
Too many Ives so no more rhyme and no more reason
Or is this that season I don't make it
I'm tired of trying to fake it all
As this fall is unreal
I peel and keel over
Wishing I'll find the next four-leaf clover but
It's winter when I look and summer when I book it
End this season
I suspend my reason to keep moving as
I constantly keep losing
My faith seems erased as I trudge through brown leaves
The crunch of the fall as the as I hit the pavement
Walking away boots strapped tight for all night and all day
I am just gonna keep walking because I can't even look back
As I believe it would only lead down that same rail road track
Of disappointment and my lost anointment
Reopened deep scars uncured by any ointment
Can't even lick these wounds just letting them bleed
Either way I'm doomed because
Even though I tried the devil resumed
The devil resumed
I'm tired of trying to fake it all
As this fall is unreal
I peel and keel over
Wishing I'll find the next four-leaf clover but
It's winter when I look and summer when I book it
End this season
I suspend my reason to keep moving as
I constantly keep losing
I couldn't see this through because he got to me
And now I am damned if I do
Damned if I've got to be
Won't be led cause I'm a coward
No longer empowered
Having scoured through a thought left soured by rot
The rotting decay of my faith
Found on that delivery day has brought me back to the
Hey I can't continue this way
I say, I just can't keep doing this
I throw it away trashing the ideas I kept screwing with
Invasive thoughts catch my drift
As the swift current carried me away and
Now I don't know what to do but keep trudging this day
I'm tired of trying to fake it all
As this fall is unreal
I peel and keel over
Wishing I'll find the next four-leaf clover but
It's winter when I look and summer when I book it
End this season
I suspend my reason to keep moving as
I constantly keep losing
Satan must have a tight grip on this lead as it leads me
No longer the motivation to plead to God for my being freed
Just gonna let these old scars continue to bleed
Not sure of what I want because I don't get what I need
As my thoughts continue to haunt me as I haunt this street
Starting to become gaunt as I can't break this beat
But then I hear a voice invade
Cutting through my forsaken stew saying
Take a seat on this curb
I draw a labored breath and reply no Sir
I am to continue this endless beat down
This God forsaken street
Hopefully back to the dead end
Where I can rend these timed seasons and
Finally begin to unwind
But just as the voice starts to say
I rebuke that devil
I trip over a train track and stumble lying flat on my back
I look up at the sky and see a bright glowing white light
And start to feel lifted from the endless beat blight
I roll over to my knees
Remembering how I once pleased a Lord
Who was always forgiving
I hear His voice again saying
Take to your knees and start praying
So I pray and
I pray Lord please forgive me this day
Then comes a reply from that sky
In the form of a reuniting cry out
I realize I let the devil fill my mind with doubt and
Without God having forgiven us for our sins
I would have stayed
On this endless beat where only Satan wins