Letras
John Caparulo, ladies and gentlemen!
'Sup fuckers? Huh? Yeah! Alright, Cleveland, yeah! Look at this, this
Is cool. I'm glad I could come and do this here, 'cause uh, yeah
I mean, it really is. I mean, I started doing comedy eleven years
Ago. My first time, I was on in Akron, and uh, I mean, 'cause it...
Alright, settle down. But I mean, you know, 'cause they told me
There's like a thousand people here tonight. I mean, that's cool
But my first show, there was one. There was one guy at my first show
I was mad that he fucking stayed. I'm like, "What are you doing? Why
Are you here? Who goes by themselves in the first place? Why are you
Here? It's not even a show, it's like a conversation. I got a
Microphone, alright? It's weird." I remember, I was getting ready to
Go on and one of the veteran comics comes over to me, he's like, "
You know, kid, you're gonna find in this business that sometimes the
Smaller crowds are even more fun than the bigger crowds." I'm like
"That's great, but that's not a crowd, it's a fucking dude, alright?
This is gonna suck." It's, yeah, so, it's fun being back in Cleveland
, Though, it is. Cleveland, yeah, yeah. I mean, 'cause yeah, I grew up
In a place you've never heard of. But, uh, but you know, Cleveland's
A big deal to me, you know? I was a Browns fan my whole life. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I'm a comic. And I'm not happy, you
Know? It's uh, I'm serious. Like, if Vernice Byner didn't fumble
I wouldn't fucking be here right now. I mean, really, I'd have a job
Insurance and shit, I mean like, no. I remember I told somebody that
I was like, "Cleveland hasn't had a pro sports championship since
1964." And they did, they must've looked it up online, they're like
"Actually, you guys are only second. San Diego hasn't had one since '
61." I'm like, "Oh, fuck San Diego, alright? You know what? It's San
Diego, alright? When they lose, they can go out on the beach
Alright? You know what? Fuck them. When the Browns lose, I mean
I gotta deal with that and icicles on my balls, alright? They suck
Alright? I'm mad. Tell me about San Diego's woes." It's weird, you