Retroactive Jealousy

And I have waited

All my life

For this moment

But you gave it away at all of fifteen

And I know it doesn't change a thing

But it must have some meaning

So I think to myself, "words hurt too much"

But we have conversations of the deepest touch

About rooftops to trampolines

The party scene doesn't really work for me

So I use the bits and pieces to form memories

Fantasies that don't belong to me

Of things I wish were on the table

But I wasn't able

And I have waited

All my life

For this moment

But you gave it away at all of fifteen

And I know it doesn't change a thing

But it must have some meaning

Following the footsteps of someone else

Checking all the boxes that they have felt

In due time

It must have some meaning

Sober as a Saturday night

With the lights shining bright on you

So you started from the bottom

Made it to the top

Your Sophomore dreams delayed

By the thoughts of breathing (breathing)

Feeling (feeling)

And fading in and out

And I see it clear as dust

Like the dusk before the dawn

And it's eating me away 'cause I know

That it was on a fleeting (fleeting)

Feeling (feeling)

Of deep and desperate want

And I have waited

All my life

For this moment

But you gave it away at all of fifteen

And I know it doesn't change a thing

But it must have some meaning

Following the footsteps of someone else

Checking all the boxes that they have felt

In due time

It must've had meaning

Laying underneath the star-filled skies

So the darkness is no disguise

And you know this moment is right

Yeah it must've had meaning

Building the bridges and burning

Without the discerning of who (you are)

It must've had meaning

Sober as a Saturday night

With the lights shining down on you