Waiting for My Heart to Stop

I feel like I've been alive forever

Just getting older, not mature

I thought by now I'd feel a bit secure

And the months go by like seconds

So why do the days drag on for years

I wish I knew what time was made of

Cause I just scare myself to sleep

And I disregard the reasons

All the promises I'm so ashamed to keep

Hey, hey, hey boy, I'm sorry

That's all I can be

So I sit and watch the clock

Waiting for my heart to stop

I feel so disconnected

Like I'm in pieces on the floor

I don't know if I can stand to break much more

If only I could find me someone

Someone to save me from myself

I guess it's me I'm most afraid of

And I can lose my voice to speak

But alone, words have no meaning

All the problems I find so, so incomplete

But hey, hey, hey boy, don't worry

It's only me

So I listen for the knock

Waiting for my heart to

Stop racing towards what's caving in

Stop chasing all those worthless things

Stop looking down for saving face

Stop running scared, so hard, in place

Stop living up to where it's been

Stop making sure it's wearing thin

Stop beating loud for all to see

Stop killing me

Please

I feel like I've been alive forever

Just getting further from myself

I wish I knew just when I gave up

Cause I still scare myself to sleep

Ah, then disregard the reasons

All the problems I find so, so incomplete

But hey, hey, hey boy, if I loved you

Could you love me

So for all the things I'm not

I'm waiting for my heart to stop

So, I sit and watch the clock

Waiting for my heart to stop